Biancastrada Holdings LLC, the group which brought you the famed and highly successful $100 laptop, is proud to present its new approach to saving The Rest of The World©: The One Think Per Child™ project (OTPC™).
OTPC™ is a brand new civilizing mission which goes back more than four centuries, to the early days of the Weberian Revolution. At the time, ideas were the size of dinosaurs and they terrified young children. Nobody ever thought that children could ever get their own ideas. But one pioneering young man by the name of Same-Old Paper single-handedly took control of the situation. He designed a smaller, Unified Idea (patent pending), which children could hold in their hands.
Setting up a small non-profit organization, Paper began to sell children “the one idea they would ever need,” henceforth known as “The One Idea®.” The printing press helped Paper quickly sell his Idea to all rich children around the World. Unfortunately, some tiny parts of the world were still too poor and desolate to afford Paper’s Idea. So Paper requested the help of Nicola Biancastrada, who had efficiently designed his own Ideas, through his training in architecture and political science.
What Biancastrada and Paper realized is that children in Africa or in Detroit can only afford inferior ideas, if they can afford any idea at all. So Biancastrada and Paper tried to find ways to manufacture The One Idea® at merely fifteen times the cost of the inferior ideas those hapless African souls were trying to own.
The result of the Biancastrada-Paper collaboration is the One Think Per Child™ program, a visionary project to give billions of poor children the possibility to afford The One Idea® on their own, regardless of adults around them. Biancastrada and Paper have a vision and they will make their vision come true.
Paper’s Idea is not merely a philosophical concept. It’s an educational tool, designed to help any child become elligible for welfare by the time they are forty years old. Philosophical details about Paper’s Idea are irrelevant since education is about Unified Thinking and the Whole Truth.
The OTPC™ project revolves around five core principles:
1) Child ownership. The One Idea® will enable foreigners to fully own children.
2) Low ages. As the saying goes, “catch them while they are young.”
3) Saturation. The One Idea® should leave no room for lesser ideas.
4) Connection. Anything a child does can be monitored through the World View Web.
5) Free and Open Source. The OTPC Non-Profit Foundation inc. surveyed the freshwater sources of the world in order to find the private corporation they charged with mass production of the OTPC Idea™.
While no plan has been made at this point to sell The One Idea® to children in rich and powerful nations, you can participate in the OTPC™ project through the Give Idea Get Ordained® program (GIGO®). This project, in collaboration with the Unified Free Church, enables anyone to purchase an OTPC Idea™ for a poor African child and become an ordained minister at the same time. Schools and States are welcome to take part in this program. Special discounts are offered to ideologues and demagogues.
Given the current relevance of the environment, the OTPC Idea™ is available in any color as long as it is green.
The GIGO program and the OTPC Idea™ are only available from now until noon (UTC), 04/01/2008.
5 thoughts on “One Think Per Child”
Right. As long as Biancastrada has another Think coming, all will be well.
@Carl I feel exactly the same way. In fact, I really feel relieved that, thanks to Biancastrada and others, I don’t have to think at all about how other people live. I know they’re all to be pitied for not living like us, but since there are kind souls like Biancastrada looking out for them, I don’t have to worry.
Well that’s a relief. What with all the somethings I can’t do there have to be people like this.
@Carl I’m being told by a Biancastrada representative that this specific offer was but the first step in a long-term program to change the world. They might consider your application for RIPGIGO beta-testing but, at this point, they’re branching out in governance, corporate liability, and copyright reform.
I’m telling you, there’s nothing these people can’t do.
I’m very disappointed that this offer has lapsed. At present I am only able to rent other people’s children, and thoroughly ‘pre-thunk’ first-worlders at that. (I would be interested in beta-testing the Rich Industrial People Give Idea Get Ordained – RIPGIGO – when it becomes available.)