Gretchen Rubin asks: Did Your Parents Make You Take Piano Lessons? If So, Have They Made You Happier?.
IMHO, living a parent’s dream isn’t a very efficient way to find happiness but it can focus one’s adolescence rebellion.
Jacques Brel has a song in which some children become pharmacists because their fathers weren’t able to. It always struck me as an insightful comment about the weight of social mobility. Sure, individualism and competitiveness make more sense in the United States now than it did in Belgium or France at the time. But they only become a path to happiness after a rather tortuous process. Either children completely internalize the idea that they should live their lives in this way or they reject all of this and become more independent because they were in such a strict structure.
I did go through a few piano lessons with my aunt. My parents didn’t really nag me to take them and I did take an interest in music at some points. But these piano lessons didn’t do anything significant in terms of my growth as a person or as a musician. My cousin continued piano lessons with our aunt for a longer time and did perform rather well as a pianist, for a while. She became an educational psychologist and I don’t think she plays, anymore. In my case, I took saxophone in middle school, went to music school for esrly college, and became an ethnographer, specialized in African music. Formal music training has helped me a lot because I chose to dedicate myself fully to music, for a time.
Childhood piano and/or violin lessons is constraining for many reasons. It transforms the joy of music into a meaningless drill. The end of Spike Lee’s Mo’ Better Blues is very insightful, in this sense. Musical exercises are important when you want to achieve some specific goals. But the focus of too many a piano lesson is jumping through hoops. Good preparation for life as a bureaucrat (Satie’s Sonatine bureaucratique is fitting) but not that closely related to musical bliss if you don’t involve yourself in broader dimensions of music.
On the other hand, there are multiple methods to raise musical awareness, from Dalcroze and Orff to Keil’s Born to Groove. I haven’t experienced them that deeply but I did observe some interesting results, opening people’s minds.
Of course, there’s no single way to raise children. But it strikes me that the type of music lessons some parents force their children into has little to do with enjoying life and much more to do with industrial-era productivity.